Doug Movie News Round-Up: August 23rd


Wassup errybody.

I apologize for writing that. I suck at beginning articles.

Anyway, I had intended to write a weekly column talking about a handful of news stories from the movie world. So I wrote one. Then…well, I went to Wizard World Comic Con, had a blast, and didn’t make time to write. Then I went back to school, and didn’t have time to write. Luckily, I only found six stories I wanted to comment on! With the exception of a certain Bat-related bit of news, because I have like, 20 paragraphs to write on that subject. But in the meantime, here’s what grabbed my eye from the last couple of weeks.

Bradley Cooper offered the role of Rocket Raccoon in Guardians of the Galaxy

Is that not the strangest sentence ever? So, Marvel is currently shooting this film called Guardians of the Galaxy. It’s based off of this lesser known comic of the same name. The group is…um, well I don’t really understand it, to tell you the truth. There’s StarLord, who’s a human or at least once was, and who’s being played by Chris Pratt. Then Gamora, whom I know nothing about except that she’s a woman, and can only hope she’s interesting, and with Zoe Saldana playing her she may be. Drax The Destroyer is some narly looking big guy, clearly the muscle, and played by former pro wrestler Dave Bautista. The final two members are CGI. There’s Groot, a tall tree dude who’s voiced by Vin Diesel, and finally Rocket Raccoon, which is, well, a raccoon who uses guns and speaks. Goddamn is this all so bizarre. Before Mr. Cooper got into the mix, I was really digging the casting: a motley crew of outcasts, coming together against all odds. I like it a lot. Which makes Bradley Cooper even stranger.

I don’t know dick about Rocket Raccoon; Cooper voicing him implies a lot of charm and charisma. But if Marvel gets him, holy shit guys. Talk about instant legitimization for the existence of this film. While I, a guy who loves mainstream filmmaking with a passion, am aware and respect the talents of most the people involved, most people looking at this film are muttering “WTF” much more than I am, and Bradley Cooper will be a major part of them buying what Guardians of the Galaxy is selling.

Mark Wahlberg wants to play Iron Man

Anybody else getting the feeling that Marky Mark’s gone a little loony? So we’re all pretty certain that after Avengers 3 Robert Downey Jr. is done as Iron Man (not to mention the fact that Marvel only re-signed him for two more Avengers films, without any more Iron Man films). But…does Wahlberg honestly see himself as Tony Stark on any kind of artistic level? Wahlberg is one of those actors who is great…as long as he is in the right role with a great script. He’s an anti-Downey; his Tony Stark will be half as funny, twice as angsty. It’d be a ridiculous pairing that would kill the character on screen until somebody with Downey’s charisma and flair for improv comes along.

The Wolverine screenwriter wanted to include Rogue

Why? Was Yukio not enough? The jist here is that one of the screenwriters wanted to include Rogue to build of off her established relationship with Logan from the prior X-Men films. He then was going to give the old man her powers as well, and…I dunno, at this point the screenwriter claimed it got too silly, which…duh. In the meantime, they actually refashioned Yukio into a character who establishes just such a relationship with Logan, in a manner that surpasses the glued-together pairing of the original X-Men films. It’s good to hear stories where people made the right decision.

Emperor Palpatine rumored to be a part of Star Wars Episode VII

So everybody who’s read a lot of Expanded Universe fiction is all like, “boo ya, told ya they’d be using it!”. Well, chill out everybody. First, the rumor of Palpatine being in the film popped up. Now, Latino Review has it on good authority that Palpatine will be appearing as a Force Ghost, ala Obi-Wan Kenobi in The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. He would be advising a new threat: an apprentice whom he was training in secret before his death. This all sounds very exciting: a way to keep a memorable villain involved without any silly resurrection crap (looking at you, Palpatine clones from the EU). Furthermore, with rumors flying of Ryan Gosling being pursued for a role, I’d love to see Gosling as this unnamed apprentice.

Bryan Cranston rumored to play Lex Luthor – and he’s interested

Allow me to get the obvious out of the way: awesome. Now, let’s follow with some actual thoughts. The two names that have been floated out regarding Lex Luthor (on a sidenote, having Lex Luthor in a Batman/Superman film…getting a tad overstuffed, aren’t we?) are Bryan Cranston and Mark Strong. If these two are the two names actually be discussed by Snyder and co., it seems a bit underthought to me. I get the feeling that Zack Snyder did a Google search for “villainous bald actors” and these two popped up. Like, what exactly is it that makes either guy perfect for the role? Is it the ability to be bald and menacing? Also, while I’d love for Cranston to get the role, since I’m still over the moon that Hal from Malcolm in the Middle is having a moment, his Walter White can range from menacing to outlandish, impotent, and terrified. But hey, maybe Snyder’s take on Luthor is going to be all of those things…

Bruce Willis is bored of making Action movies

Well hell, bro, quit making ‘em. Lord knows I don’t know anybody who watches them. But seriously, Willis’ work in Looper last year was like this huge reminder that he’s got some skill, more than his peers in the action movie field do at least. If he wants to go off and do small, interesting films the rest of his career, then he’s got my support all the way. Be free, Bruce Willis, be free!